Why Forgiveness Is So Hard

September 14, 2017 | By Chuck

I think we know that forgiveness is necessary and even essential. When we forgive those who wrong us, God forgives our wrongdoing. (Mt.6:14-15) We all need God's forgiveness, so it is essential that we be forgiving. Forgiving others is also necessary because it is freeing and allows us to move past the situation. An unwillingness to forgive is holding a grudge and keeps one stuck in the situation and doesn't allow you to move on. Forgiveness is helpful and brings healing to both parties, so why is it so hard? There are those who truly struggle with forgiveness. Forgiving those who wrong them seems overwhelming and too difficult to do. Why is forgiveness so hard? Some may claim it all depends on the offense and how serious it is. The bottom line is this, as Christians we are expected to forgive no matter the offense or how serious it is. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."(Eph.4:32) I think forgiveness is hard because we are selfish. From the time we were very young we have had a selfish nature. The baby cries to be fed, held or changed. The little boy or girl may not want to share their favorite toy. We don't outgrow our sinful selfish nature; we simply have to learn not to yield to it. When someone wrongs me or hurts me, my selfish nature says they don't deserve my forgiveness because they treated me that way. I have to deny myself so that I can forgive and move on. Every time you forgive someone you are denying yourself so that you can do what God wants you to do. The struggle is we don't want to deny ourselves and our selfish nature easily convinces us that he or she is undeserving of our forgiveness. Our selfish nature works to help us justify our unwillingness to forgive. We all must face the reality that none of us deserves God's forgiveness, but He still forgives. Forgiveness is hard because we have a selfish sinful nature that we struggle with. Let's deny that selfish sinful nature and strive to forgive like God. Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."(Lk.9:23)