I Still Struggle

April 11, 2014 | By Chuck

"I Still Struggle" As I sit in my office working away on Sunday night's sermon some of my all time favorite tunes are coming through my ear buds and I notice a tear welling up in my eye. What is going on? What's wrong with me? Then I'm forced to accept the reality of the moment, I still struggle. I listen to music, mostly country, as I plan my sermons. I know, I'm weird. I'm sure no other preacher plans his sermons like I do. Hey, Christians are supposed to be different, right? As I type words about my heavenly Father my mind and thoughts are thinking about my dad who is in heaven. It will be two years July 28th since my dad went to heaven and I still struggle at times. I don't know if you're like this but certain songs remind me of him or things we did together and it gets me. Please understand that I don't write this for sympathy and well wishes. I write this for all who have lost a loved one and still struggle. I also write these for those who haven't lost a loved one and don't understand why we still struggle with grief from time to time even after so long. Folks, you CAN"T put a time frame on grief! I've taught that, preached it, always believed it and now I absolutely know it for sure. I don't grieve for my dad every day but I miss him every day. I do have days, I guess like today, when I really miss him and the emotions are there again just like two years ago. Some might think, well stop listening to those songs while you're working on sermons. No, I don't want to! You see, I don't want to avoid the memories of my dad. If those memories bring laughter or tears, so be it. I love thinking about my dad and listening to the songs that remind me of him. Grief is a natural response to loss. Grief is even healthy for us as it helps us to not suppress things because of emotional pain. It's us, humans, who try to keep the grieving process to a minimum. When we do that we show our lack of understanding. Please don't tell anyone who has lost someone close to them that it's time to get over it and move on. When you lose a close loved one I'm not sure you ever get over it. I really believe we have to learn to cope and deal with it every day from then on. The following Scriptures give me comfort because I still struggle. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."(Isaiah 40:29-31) Chuck Ball